Imposter Syndrome at my Kids' Exclusive School

author: FutureCar Staff    

In the picturesque county of Hampshire, there stands a private school that exudes elegance and sophistication. Its well-maintained lawns and grand building create a striking first impression. As parents drop off their children in their luxurious Range Rovers, a sense of exclusivity fills the air.

Being a parent of children attending this school, I am always in awe of its beauty. However, amidst the admiration, I can't help but feel a sense of not belonging. This feeling lingers every time I drop off my kids, attend sports matches, or participate in fairs and fetes.

I attribute this feeling to my own upbringing and the fact that, if I'm honest, I envy my children for the opportunities they have. Unlike them, I attended a state school. My father worked as an engineer, and my mother was a stay-at-home mom who later became a secretary. Money was always tight in our household, and we couldn't afford extravagant trips or trendy clothes.

While my classmates enjoyed vacations to Spain or Disneyland Florida, I secretly hoped that my teachers wouldn't ask about my holiday experiences. The truth was, I didn't have much to share. My parents were good people, but financial worries restricted our ability to indulge in luxuries.

A couple of years ago, however, a fortunate turn of events presented my husband and me with an opportunity. We sold a property abroad, and a family member offered financial assistance. With these resources, we made a life-changing decision: to withdraw our 10 and 14-year-old children from state school and enroll them in a private education.

This choice was influenced by several factors. The overcrowded classrooms, lack of support from a particular teacher, and a limited focus on my son's musical aspirations all played a role. The private school promised smaller class sizes, with only 12 students per class compared to the 30 in state schools. It seemed like the obvious choice, given our means and the potential benefits.

Enrolling our children in this new school had an immediate impact on their lives. The smaller class sizes ensured they received the attention they needed, with teachers providing encouragement and guidance tailored to their strengths and weaknesses. The range of extracurricular activities available amazed me – sailing, dance, drama, computing, chess, and even a trading club.

Initially, I had concerns about the parents at this school. Would they be pretentious or snobbish? To my surprise, everyone I encountered was warm and welcoming. Sure, there were investment bankers and CEOs among them, but there were also stay-at-home moms and small business owners. Some had attended private schools themselves and saw no reason for their children to experience anything less, while others, like me, had not. They were hardworking individuals who prioritized investing in their children's education.

Yet, despite the positive experiences and the genuine connections I've made, I still can't shake off the feeling of being out of place. My state education was sufficient; I passed my GCSEs and went on to university. However, it pales in comparison to the education my children are receiving. Walking through their school, there is an undeniable sense that anything is possible. The children exude confidence, holding their heads high. I noticed my own kids adopting this newfound self-assurance within weeks of attending.

At this private school, they are taught essential life skills – from making eye contact and shaking hands firmly to conversing with adults and even practicing for future job interviews. It's not just an education; it's a comprehensive polishing of their abilities, giving them the best possible chances in life – something I believe is lacking in the average state school.

I am grateful that we made the decision to provide our children with a private education. They have transformed into well-spoken, well-rounded individuals who are constantly pushed to do their best. Moreover, I have come to realize that the parents I used to envy and scowl at are just normal moms and dads, like those from state schools.

Perhaps one day, I will overcome this lingering sense of imposter syndrome from my state school background. However, as long as my children continue to thrive, maybe it doesn't matter if I don't.

FutureCar Staff