Imposter Syndrome at My Kids' Elite School

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【Summary】A parent reflects on their feelings of being an imposter at their children's private school due to their own upbringing and envy. They made the decision to enroll their children in private school due to various reasons, including smaller class sizes and more opportunities. They initially worried about the other parents being stuck up or snobby, but found them to be welcoming and hardworking.

FutureCar Staff Oct 31, 2023 4:19 PM PT

Imposter Syndrome at My Kids' Elite School

As I drop off my children at their private school in Hampshire, I can't help but feel a sense of not belonging. The well-manicured lawns and grand building give off an air of exclusivity that I envy. You see, I grew up attending a state school, with parents who struggled to make ends meet. While my classmates went on extravagant holidays, I hoped the teacher wouldn't ask about my uneventful breaks.

A few years ago, my husband and I made the decision to enroll our two children, aged 10 and 14, in private school. The reasons were numerous - large class sizes, unsupportive teachers, and a lack of opportunities for my son's musical pursuits. With the means to do so, it seemed like the obvious choice. And so, their lives changed overnight.

The small class sizes allowed for personalized attention, encouraging their strengths and pushing them when they fell behind. The range of extracurricular activities was mind-blowing - sailing, dance, drama, computing, and even a trading club. I had feared that the parents at the school would be snobby, but I was pleasantly surprised to find them to be welcoming and hardworking individuals who had chosen to invest in their children's education.

Yet, despite the positive experiences, I still feel out of place. My own education was sufficient - I passed my exams and went on to university. But it was nothing compared to what my children are receiving. There's an undeniable sense of possibility and confidence that permeates the halls of their school. It's not just about academics; they are taught social skills, how to make eye contact, shake hands firmly, and even practice for job interviews. It's an all-round education that prepares them for success.

While I am grateful for the opportunities my children have been given, I can't help but struggle with imposter syndrome. I hope that one day I can let go of the feeling that I don't belong in this world of private schools. Perhaps, as long as my children are thriving, it doesn't matter if I still feel like an outsider.